Flaw-full Yo

deduct:

row row row your dick gently down my thigh

(via asvprock)

warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(Source: wartortles, via disowns)

every gay fanfic ever

person A: if only he was gay

person B: i'm gay

person A:

person A: well shit

analish:

i have three personalities: sweet, salty, and spicy

(via disowns)

virginitity:

how i seduce men

image

(via lmaoalien)

noveltastic:

"DEBBIE DID YOU FAX THOSE PAPERS TO MANAGEMENT?"

(via starbruhks)

imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

image

so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

(via dmitrivitch)

anus:

today in english, the teacher asked the class for a synonym of ‘perfect’ and i yelled out my name

(via asvprock)